He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
