Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
did you just send me my own nude
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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