Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
