This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
