Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
