They should really pass out barf bags in church
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
