it wasn't lemon gatorade
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
