Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
