She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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