I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
