True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize