it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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