If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
