pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
