you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
