Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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