Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
