he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
