it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
