Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I want to have your abortion
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
