you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
