omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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