next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
