I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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