Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
