well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
