did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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