Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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