i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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