Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
