I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
