i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
