If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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