hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
