Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
