I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
