I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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