If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
