that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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