"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
