Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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