I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
