I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
