Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
