Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
