dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
