Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
