where does the pee come out of this thing
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
