i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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