now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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