this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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